Through Thick and Thin

l-r: Valerie Williams, Gemma Walker, Grace Walker, Maggie Gonzales, Monica Walker, and Vicky Martinez (seated)

“To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time.”
~ Clara Ortega

As the last of my six sisters—and the tallest—I have had the distinct honor and privilege of being nurtured, schooled, advised, instructed, sheltered, and most often comforted in the warmth of my family brood.

There were actually a total of eleven siblings. Of the five brothers, Anthony died at two, Brian at fifty-one, and Michael at fifty-seven. We are now a family of eight, as both our parents, Andrew and Rose Walker, have passed.

On January 26, 2013, we celebrated my sister Margaret Rose (Maggie) Gonzales’ seventy-third birthday (shown in the middle of the top photo). We have a favorite saying in our family: “You want to make God laugh—tell Him your plans.”

On Sunday, January 27, with coordination from Maggie’s daughter Rayanne, we planned a surprise toast for Maggie at home in Maryland. Well… let’s just say plans went awry. Both the original hostess, my niece Tonya, and Maggie’s granddaughter were stricken with sickness. Our guest of honor—Maggie herself—along with her husband Raymond, son Colin, and granddaughter Paloma, were a no-show. Harumph!

So we decided to celebrate with our guest of honor in absentia. For the occasion, my oldest sister Vicky shared her macaroni pie; Monica made green bean salad. My oldest brother Andre’s son Greg cooked fried rice and chicken, joined by his wife Andrea and daughters Danielle, Samantha, and little baby Emma. Michelle and Brad (children of my late brother Michael) brought a homemade pot of corn soup. My brother Derek, his wife Colleen, and their children Daylan and Collice fixed salt-fish buljol with hard-boiled eggs and avocados, served with freshly baked bread. My son Daryean, his daughters Deana and Raylynn, and I contributed curried chicken with rice and fruit punch.

We had a hearty potluck and feasted in celebration of Mags. A Skype connection attempt failed us, but we managed a joyful, slightly rambunctious, choral “Happy Birthday to You”—sung via speakerphone, full of laughter and love.

Andre and his wife Grace reside in Trinidad and Tobago. My sister Gemma was also in Trinidad, attending the funeral of our beloved family friend, Fr. Henry Charles, who died suddenly from a massive heart attack. My sister Val and her family, in Garden Grove, California, celebrated remotely and in spirit.

My toast to Maggie: Maggie, you are the founding member of the Walker-Gonzales-Martinez family who migrated from Trinidad and Tobago to the United States in the early sixties. Through your generosity of spirit, every one of us has shared a piece of the American dream. You are the hallmark of stewardship—through dedication and unswerving love. You’ve always ministered and shared your home, hospitality, and heart with grace. I have witnessed and received that unconditional love. If there’s a way to describe your magnanimity, it is nothing less than sacred. I am forever humbled and overjoyed to be your sister.

The treasure of sisters like mine is immeasurable. I was nine when our father died in 1965. My older sisters and brothers each became protectors and guardians to ensure our mother and younger siblings were cared for. From them I learned what family truly means—caring and supporting one another.

From my sisters I also learned to embrace beauty and fashion. In fact, on the day of Daddy’s funeral, while everyone was busy with solemn preparations, I was experimenting with my sister’s eyebrow pencil and smudging the reddest lipstick across my lips. The only red left after my “cosmetic experiment” was probably my burning ears—courtesy of sister Val’s swift clean-up operation!

Now, as we enter our post-AARP years, my sisters continue to teach me friendship and loyalty. Through all life’s turns—hardship, faith-testing, marriage, divorce, death, disease, loss, and renewal—we’ve remained an army of perseverance, strength, and fortitude. I’ve learned dignity, pride, self-respect, and repentance from the women who are both my roots and my wings.

Maggie later shared her thanks with this note and prayer:

Dear Family,

Thank you so much. It was a total surprise to know you were all gathered to celebrate my birthday—what an honor! I’m sorry I couldn’t be there in person to enjoy every moment, but I’m glad we connected, even briefly. A special thank you to the planners and preparers; I heard from Vickytoria about all the wonderful dishes made for the occasion.

This is my birthday prayer for you:
Lord, help our family in their continued caring and giving. Let our differences blend in the joy of our living. Keep our hearts open in true communication—with patience and kindness, without reservation. May our harmony unite us and strengthen our love, with Your grace and mercy and the blessings You send from above.

God bless and stay well. I love you all!
{{{HugUps}}}
~ Maggie

And that’s what it’s all about — Through Thick and Thin.