The Wedding Vow " I do" is not about Me. What its all about? Shall We!!

With all due reality
 On Monday August 19, 1996,  I wrote the script titled "I do".  At that  time the idea of blogging was non existent. Also at the time, DOMA was not part of the social vocabulary.  With the right to marriage as a "hot trending topic" in current discussion, I find myself amused and entertained that the magnitude of the word "vow" has been my achilles heel, when it comes to the commitment of marriage.

With all due respect

In the words penned as a forethought to a marriage announcement by a close family member, I felt persuaded to deal with my own personal disposition on the subject.    I realized that my greatest discovery was that I had not yet discovered my own self.

As I witness the euphoria of the all the marrying newbies, I found my  "I do" testimonial.    If the inclination were to occur, and I in sound mind and body willingly entertain the sacred vow of marriage (again!), I have already prepared my "I do"  pledge.       It  shares my honest fears, concerns and deepest desires.

To say " I do" means that I am making an informed decision about who I am and my willingness to serve another being.  I accept the realization of my vulnerability.


 I need to commune emotionally, physically and spiritually with someone that love has chosen for me.  My feelings aren't clinical as to what  stimulates my responsiveness.  Love happens spontaneously.
 I may hear a song, see a flower, smell a fragrance, feel an inner stirring and even be moved to tears, and in my mind's eye, it is you.To say 'I do" I am acknowledging that i appreciate and respect you.  You are divinely unique, not perfect.  You are not an extension of me nor am I, of you.  i have dreams and desires and I ask you to enjoy what I offer.  I will not conveniently delight your tastes.  I am the selfish, the opinionated, the callous and also the fragile.  When I say unkind words and act displeasingly, I hurt me and inevitably hurt you also.  Our communion allows me to reflect in the solace of your love and understanding.I do is more than a ceremonial exercise.  I do is not entitlement.  I am not entitled to wear your ring, have your name  or bear your children.  I do is an awareness of the conviction that a new journey in my life is  about to begin.  In this journey, you are my chosen companion.  The task at hand is not the prospect of what lies ahead, but the ability to apply lessons learnt on tolerance, compassion, patience, steadfastness and kindness.I do does not erase problems, old habits, likes and dislikes.  I intend to share my whole self, not just the  good parts, but the parts that unfortunately, are unpleasant.

 In saying I do, I take responsibility for loving you as you are also.  As one of God's uniquely imperfect creatures, I seek to find and strive for what I perceive may be the best for me.  We are given the opportunity to discover more about ourselves and learn in the process.
In my discoveries, I may uncover that I am domineering, possessive, controlling and insensitive.  These are traits that are all a part of who I am.  I also, am affectionate, caring, passionate and loving, and with the "i do" I expose all my nakedness for your love and total consumption.
Here I am, I say "I do" knowingly, willingly  and lovingly.  This is my opportunity to surrender myself to another.  Each day that lies ahead, I will embrace and cherish as a gift given to me by God.  
"I do is my gift to you to share our moments with God entwined as our destiny
   

I  Do composed and written by G C Walker Monday August 19, 1996






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